Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Dr. Quinn at Night

I'm still growing up in the way that I get emotional over movies... let me explain.

I think especially as girls, if we hear that a movie is a tear-jerker, we feel like we should cry while we watch it. "Did you cry?" we ask each other. And so as a 12, 13, 14-year-old, I would force tears to come during really sad shows, probably just so I could fit in.

And then as I got older, some movies really did make me feel like crying, and I would cry freely if I was alone, and not so much if people and especially boys were in the room.

And the funny thing is, that's kind of still where I am. I don't know if any of you have husbands like this, but at a particularly emotional part of a movie, Danilo will check for my reaction to see if I am crying. And he doesn't really do it subtly, either. Cute boy. So there's a lot of potential for me to feel awkward.

But there's something that's so satisfying about crying over something that was worth crying over.

My favorite way to cry over a movie is at extremely beautiful or happy moments, and there have been a lot of those lately. Danilo got me the entire Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman series for Christmas this year, and I have never enjoyed a gift so continuously. Because Danilo will watch it with me, I live all day for Dr. Quinn at night.  

My vote for the most beautiful love story in all the television and movies I have ever seen goes to Dr. Mike and Sully. There is just so much substance to it. Sigh. I can't get enough.

These scenes back to back have been the most satisfying of the whole series so far. I got emotional just reading the taglines on YouTube when I was trying to pull them up. They are beautiful. Watch it full screen. Enjoy.

Sully travels from Colorado to Boston to check on Dr. Quinn and her children who have been gone visiting for more than a month. While Colorado has made a frontierswoman out of Dr. Quinn, she's reverted back to some of her Boston ways and is a little embarrassed when Sully shows up... after staying awhile and sensing it was a bad idea (the trip and pursuing a relationship with Dr. Quinn), Sully catches a train home....

Making Peace With the Internet

I decided Sunday night when I was sitting at the front of a new week that I was going to make peace with the internet.

There is a lot I love about the internet. It connects us. It's useful and informational and entertaining.

We also know the internet has the potential to be destructive and a time-waster, and can suck the very joy out of our lives.

My biggest beef with the internet personally is when it keeps me from being productive. There are times when I close the laptop and think, I think I could've done a lot more with the last 45 minutes of my life than I just did, and I have nothing to show for it except being totally up-to-date on the trip a friend from high school took to Rome.

So several weeks ago, I made a deal with myself. My getting on the internet had a lot to do with checking to see if things had changed... checking my email, checking on my business, checking my Facebook... so I decided I could get on twice a day, once at 11 am and once at 5 pm to see what had changed in my little spots on the internet. It was somewhat effective. I got a lot accomplished before logging on.  But whoops, I needed to pull up the internet to follow that recipe I was making for dinner, and that couldn't wait til 5 pm. I needed to pull up the internet to transfer some money from checking to savings. I need to pull up the internet to see if the chair I'm watching on KSL has dropped in price. And part of me would say, "Oh, good, I'll get on really fast AND see if I have email," and the more disciplined part of me would say, "You will not, you will get on, get what you need, and get back off." This battle has been going on for awhile.

And sometimes when I had been really diligent at staying off the computer until my designated times, and then discovered not much had happened, like I hadn't gotten responses from the emails I was hoping to, it made me grumpier than I'd like to admit.

Darn, I knew the internet could have an affect on my mood, and I don't like the way it makes me feel when I allow it to. 

So this is what I decided Sunday night after a good day of church. I know Heavenly Father cares about (what seem like) the trivial matters of my life, and I prayed for help this week to use the internet better than I have been... and this is what I was able to come up with.

The internet is like a catalog and a recipe book and a phone directory and a newspaper and a bank and a mailbox and I might have to access it several times a day. But when I do, before I click on that link or press play on that YouTube video or even log in to Facebook at all :), I stop and think, is this going to bring me up or bring me down? I imagine an up and a down arrow sitting in the top corner of my laptop. Sometimes the answer is, down. I know that the real reason I want to search for new recipes for dessert is so that I can avoid vacuuming the house, and I know that I will feel better when the house is vacuumed than I will with six new pins on my Pinterest dessert board, and so I close the laptop and grab the vacuum. Sometimes the answer is, up, my sister is in New York this week and I want to know if she got my message or posted any new pictures. 

I'm happy to say that it's been working. And that's how I have made peace with the internet this week.