Tuesday, November 24, 2009


NOTE: I have been debating whether or not to pull this post off the blog. When I wrote it I meant it to be a cute story about feeling better after resolving one of those disagreements husbands and wives run into from time to time. But when I read over it, I can't tell if that's the message someone reading would get or if it just sounds like I'm venting about my husband online. That's not my intention. It's kind like a text message...some of the feeling gets lost in the words (if you're anything like my sisters and me, you carefully plan whether to put a period or an exclamation point, or maybe two exclamation points to send the right idea :). Anyway, know how much I love Danilo, how thankful I am for the way he treats me, and please read this for what it's meant to be.

Danilo and I were both upset the other night after a talk we'd had on the way home. As I busied myself around the house and he worked on his homework, I kept thinking of things I thought would feel so good to say to Danilo in response to some of the things he'd said in the car--now that I'd had time to stew over it. Words that would sting...something along the lines of, well if that bothers you so much, what were you thinking when you married me? I would play it out in my mind, telling Danilo exactly what I thought I wanted to, and reveled in how good it would feel when I delivered the words like a punch. Moments like these make me thankful for the marriage covenant. It makes me step back and think, is coming out on top in this disagreement more important than my marriage? So far the answer has never been yes. A testimony of the importance of marriage in God's plan, my love for Danilo, remembering what I read once in this article , and my husband's sweet example of always apologizing first gave me the push I needed to step up and repair the rift between us that night. After it was done, I remembered thinking how good I had thought it was going to feel to tell Danilo off earlier in the night, and was so thankful I hadn't. Better to cause no damage than to feel hollow satisfaction that would probably turn into regret by morning. With it all resolved I could see clearly that being in love with him was a much more satisfying feeling to my soul than saying what I wanted to say to him would have been.

The link on the picture below takes you to a trailer for one of our favorite movies. It revitalized how I think about my marriage. I get excited to be married to Danilo all over again after I watch it. Have you seen it?


Jackie Norris said...

I LOVED that movie, a great message and something we all need to remember.

And no, it doesn't sound like you are venting about your hubby. I think we all have moments like that :)

Souli & Ashley said...

I don't think you are bad at all. I know I feel like that sometimes too. I'm not glad you were in a argument but glad that its not just me and my marriage. My problem is I think marriage should be too perfect, too simple. So when its not I think something is wrong with us or my marriage. Only on the outside most marriages look perfect and that there is nothing ever wrong only we all know its not true. No matter who we are married to there is always problems. I'm just grateful that I married the man I'm in love with.