Share Your Style Swap Party

If this is your first time here, welcome!!!
And if this post looks terribly familiar to you (because I posted a longer version on October 27, know this one has a post-election update. :)

Laurel and I met through a blog party being hosted by Vintage Wanna Bee and Agape Love Designs. We were randomly assigned a partner, encouraged to get to know one another through our blogs and emails, and then at the end of three weeks or so send each other a hair accessory to remember our new friend across the country by. The following snippets are excerpts from our conversations.
  

Brittney writes:

Hi Laurel! I just wanted to say hi. I've only spent two minutes on your blog and already am excited to know you because 1. I love skinny jeans too, and 2. I went on a trip to the South for the first time about six weeks ago and loved it. So nice to meet you.

Laurel writes:

Hey, Brittney!!!  I haven't checked out your blog yet but I'm excited to get to know you better. I love living in the South but people down here say I'm not a true Southerner because I don't sound like one. But I am a Georgia peach born and bred! :) It's absolutely so nice to meet you, too. I can't wait to get started on making something for the swap. :) 

Laurel, after only an hour or so writes again:

Hey, Brittney! I checked out some of your posts and even though our politics definitely aren't in alignment...

For the record, Laurel didn't put those last six words in giant glaring text, but that's how I read them. And when I read them, I did something like this:

 

because I knew she had visited my blog, where it would be impossible to miss the current ROMNEY, ROMNEY, HE'S OUR MAN theme. And if our politics definitely weren't in alignment, what must she have to say to me??? It wasn't that I wouldn't be willing to stand behind everything I have said the last several weeks. It was just that in this instance, I hoped to be making a friend. I braced myself for being told I was ignorant, naive, and uninformed...and prayed it wouldn't be worse than that. Through partly squinted eyes, I continued reading.

Laurel, after having been interrupted by Brittney's thoughts, continues:

...and even though our politics definitely aren't in alignment, I can absolutely respect someone having well-formed, well-thought-out opinions on who to vote for. Kudos to you for having a reason instead of blindly following the masses. Faith in humanity - restored. 

Needless to say, we are friends.
Here are some excerpts from my favorite parts of our conversations.

Brittney writes:

Laurel! There are few things I like more than meeting someone who differs from me politically and totally hitting it off with them. :) Thank YOU for restoring MY faith in humanity. There is too much unkindness and incivility in the world and I appreciate your openness and friendliness towards me.  

Laurel writes:

It's always so, so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice to meet someone who is opinionated (see what I did there?) but not hateful about it. Lots of people aren't like that, like everyone and their brother on their Facebook wall posts. 

Laurel writes:

I'm not voting for Romney because he's Mormon. But I'm not not voting for Romney because he's Mormon either. His choice of religious belief/worship/denomination does not even enter into my spectrum of reasons to vote a certain way, though it is clearly of interest and it might matter if he was a Satanist or something more sinister.  

Brittney writes:  

It made me laugh, when I made that very definitive statement, that a vote should not be based on religion, I did make a little mental disclaimer like the one you did...I thought, shoot, if some religious fanatic ever comes up for the vote, I would have to take that back.

and all politics aside...

Brittney writes:

I've attached a picture of what I pictured when I read your preferences on hair accessories... please let me know how close or how very far away I am to something you'd enjoy receiving :).

  

Laurel writes:

I love that bow clip!!! My motto is basically, "When in doubt, add glitter."

Finally, one of my favorite things my new friend Laurel has had to say:

 
Laurel writes:

I can absolutely respect someone having well-formed, well-thought-out opinions on who to vote for. It's your vote, not mine!

I knew when I chose to throw my mind and heart into this campaign that a lot of it wasn't going to be pretty. In fact, I knew that choosing to stay informed and aware of the issues meant that I was going to be subjecting myself to a lot of the ugliness politics has to offer. It's been said, however, that most things in life worth having don't come easily, and for me this is one of those times.   

Discussing our views and getting them out so that they can be heard is our blessed right as Americans. However, I hope Laurel and I have been able to demonstrate that you can disagree with someone, even passionately disagree with someone without allowing ill-will or hate to enter the situation. Laurel hasn't changed my mind, and I seriously doubt I have changed hers, but we are both better for having bumped into each other.
Go pay her a visit. She's a really great girl.
http://www.theopinionatedgirl.com/

Unless you live under a rock, you know how the election went down last Tuesday (I bet you've found out even if you do live under a rock). I am happy that regardless of the results, I have found a new friend. This is how Laurel ended her last email to me last Thursday.

Laurel writes:
I'm so happy that even with the harsh political climate surrounding elections that we were/are able to find common ground in that we are both politically passionate women who form their thoughts independent of social pressures. How awesome it is to live in a country where we CAN do this... and even better that we can move past that difference to be friends. :) 

Lovelovelove, Laurel

I got a panicked email from Laurel letting me know that the hair accessory is on its way. I assured her I already had plenty to blog about. Pictures are sure to follow soon. ;) Thanks Nichelle and Maria-Isabel for hosting the swap.

6th Saturday of Seven

Laurel and I met through a blog party being hosted by this blog. We were randomly assigned a partner, encouraged to get to know one another through our blogs and emails, and then at the end of three weeks or so send each other a hair accessory to remember our new friend across the country by. The following snippets are excerpts from our conversations.

Brittney writes:

Hi Laurel! I just wanted to say hi. I've only spent two minutes on your blog and already am excited to know you because 1. I love skinny jeans too, and 2. I went on a trip to the South for the first time about six weeks ago and loved it. So nice to meet you.

Laurel writes:

Hey, Brittney!!!  I haven't checked out your blog yet but I'm excited to get to know you better. I love living in the South but people down here say I'm not a true Southerner because I don't sound like one. But I am a Georgia peach born and bred! :) It's absolutely so nice to meet you, too. I can't wait to get started on making something for the swap. :) 

Laurel, after only an hour or so writes again:

Hey, Brittney! I checked out some of your posts and even though our politics definitely aren't in alignment...

For the record, Laurel didn't put those last five words in giant glaring text, but that's how I read them. And when I read them, I did something like this:

because I knew she had visited my blog, where it would be impossible to miss the current ROMNEY, ROMNEY, HE'S OUR MAN theme. And if our politics definitely weren't in alignment, what must she have to say to me??? It's not that I wasn't willing to stand by what I have written all these weeks, it was just that in this instance I hoped to be making a friend. I braced myself for being told I was ignorant, naive, uninformed and the rest of the barrage of insults that might follow. Through partly squinted eyes, I continued reading.

Laurel, after having been interrupted by Brittney's thoughts, continues:

...and even though our politics definitely aren't in alignment, I can absolutely respect someone having well-formed, well-thought-out opinions on who to vote for. Kudos to you for having a reason instead of blindly following the masses. Faith in humanity - restored. 

Needless to say, we are friends.
Here are some excerpts from my favorite parts of our conversations.

Brittney writes:

Laurel! There are few things I like more than meeting someone who differs from me politically and totally hitting it off with them. :) Thank YOU for restoring MY faith in humanity. There is too much unkindness and incivility in the world and I appreciate your openness and friendliness towards me.  
 

Laurel writes:

It's always so, so, so, SOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice to meet someone who is opinionated (see what I did there?) but not hateful about it. Lots of people aren't like that, like everyone and their brother on their Facebook wall posts. 

Laurel writes:

I'm not voting for Romney because he's Mormon. But I'm not not voting for Romney because he's Mormon either. His choice of religious belief/worship/denomination does not even enter into my spectrum of reasons to vote a certain way, though it is clearly of interest and it might matter if he was a Satanist or something more sinister.
  

Brittney writes:  

It made me laugh, when I made that very definitive statement, that a vote should not be based on religion, I did make a little mental disclaimer like the one you did...I thought, shoot, if some religious fanatic ever comes up for the vote, I would have to take that back.

and all politics aside...

Brittney writes:

I've attached a picture of what I pictured when I read your preferences on hair accessories... please let me know how close or how very far away I am to something you'd enjoy receiving :).

Laurel writes:

I love that bow clip!!! My motto is basically, "When in doubt, add glitter."

Finally, one of my favorite things my new friend Laurel has had to say:

 
 
Laurel writes:

I can absolutely respect someone having well-formed, well-thought-out opinions on who to vote for. It's your vote, not mine!

I knew when I chose to throw my mind and heart into this campaign that a lot of it wasn't going to be pretty. In fact, I knew that choosing to stay informed and aware of the issues meant that I was going to be subjecting myself to a lot of the ugliness politics has to offer. It's been said, however, that most things in life worth having don't come easily, and for me this is one of those times.   

Discussing our views and getting them out so that they can be heard is our blessed right as Americans. However, I hope Laurel and I have been able to demonstrate that you can disagree with someone, even passionately disagree with someone without allowing ill-will or hate to enter the situation. Laurel hasn't changed my mind, and I seriously doubt I have changed hers, but we are both better for having bumped into each other.
Go pay her a visit. She's a really great girl.
http://www.theopinionatedgirl.com/

I am voting for Mitt Romney because it is my vote and I want to. No, it's bigger than that. I have never so confidently or earnestly placed my support behind a candidate. For all the reasons I have stated the past five Saturdays and will state in next week's final post, I believe America would be blessed to have such a man as president. I am voting for Mitt Romney because even after I am exposed to the mountain of hate spewed in newspaper discussion forums, in YouTube videos,  on Facebook, Pinterest (I didn't know Pinterest could be an engine for hate, I just thought it was for yummy recipes and cute decorating ideas :), network television and talk radio, I am not swayed. I am still able to dig my candidate out from underneath it all. I dust him off and he is still worthy of my vote.

There is one remaining Saturday in the Seven Saturdays series.
If you have disagreed with me, that's okay. Laurel is one of several very dear friends who don't agree with my political stance.
But if you have agreed with much of what has been said here, or any of the other posts, please share them. Send the link in emails, post it to Facebook, pin it on Pinterest.

What can you do in these final days in this election to make a difference?    

Making Peace With the Internet

I decided Sunday night when I was sitting at the front of a new week that I was going to make peace with the internet.

There is a lot I love about the internet. It connects us. It's useful and informational and entertaining.

We also know the internet has the potential to be destructive and a time-waster, and can suck the very joy out of our lives.

My biggest beef with the internet personally is when it keeps me from being productive. There are times when I close the laptop and think, I think I could've done a lot more with the last 45 minutes of my life than I just did, and I have nothing to show for it except being totally up-to-date on the trip a friend from high school took to Rome.

So several weeks ago, I made a deal with myself. My getting on the internet had a lot to do with checking to see if things had changed... checking my email, checking on my business, checking my Facebook... so I decided I could get on twice a day, once at 11 am and once at 5 pm to see what had changed in my little spots on the internet. It was somewhat effective. I got a lot accomplished before logging on.  But whoops, I needed to pull up the internet to follow that recipe I was making for dinner, and that couldn't wait til 5 pm. I needed to pull up the internet to transfer some money from checking to savings. I need to pull up the internet to see if the chair I'm watching on KSL has dropped in price. And part of me would say, "Oh, good, I'll get on really fast AND see if I have email," and the more disciplined part of me would say, "You will not, you will get on, get what you need, and get back off." This battle has been going on for awhile.

And sometimes when I had been really diligent at staying off the computer until my designated times, and then discovered not much had happened, like I hadn't gotten responses from the emails I was hoping to, it made me grumpier than I'd like to admit.

Darn, I knew the internet could have an affect on my mood, and I don't like the way it makes me feel when I allow it to. 

So this is what I decided Sunday night after a good day of church. I know Heavenly Father cares about (what seem like) the trivial matters of my life, and I prayed for help this week to use the internet better than I have been... and this is what I was able to come up with.

The internet is like a catalog and a recipe book and a phone directory and a newspaper and a bank and a mailbox and I might have to access it several times a day. But when I do, before I click on that link or press play on that YouTube video or even log in to Facebook at all :), I stop and think, is this going to bring me up or bring me down? I imagine an up and a down arrow sitting in the top corner of my laptop. Sometimes the answer is, down. I know that the real reason I want to search for new recipes for dessert is so that I can avoid vacuuming the house, and I know that I will feel better when the house is vacuumed than I will with six new pins on my Pinterest dessert board, and so I close the laptop and grab the vacuum. Sometimes the answer is, up, my sister is in New York this week and I want to know if she got my message or posted any new pictures. 

I'm happy to say that it's been working. And that's how I have made peace with the internet this week.

Nephi, Blogging, and a Bout with Depression

If you haven't ever met Nephi, I am thrilled that I get the chance to introduce you. Nephi is the first prophet whose story is told in the Book of Mormon, and he is physically and morally strong. He is the youngest of his brothers, but because the oldest two are hard-hearted and generally choose wickedness over what is right, the Lord chooses Nephi to be a ruler over them. The two books of Nephi are filled with stories of Nephi doing one noble and courageous thing after another... and I'm going to tell you about one of them.

Nephi has traveled several days into the wilderness with his family when his father tells him that the Lord has commanded Nephi to return to Jerusalem with his brothers to retrieve the brass plates from Laban. The brass plates contain the records of their ancestors. Nephi's answer is firm and resolute... he will go. After a few attempts at visiting Laban, it becomes very clear that Laban intends to kill Nephi and his brothers and to never hand over the brass plates. On what becomes his final attempt, Nephi approaches Laban's home and finds Laban drunk and collapsed on the ground. The Spirit constrains Nephi to kill Laban, and when Nephi hesitates, he is instructed that "it is better that one man should perish than that an entire nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief..." without the record. Nephi kills Laban, retrieves the plates and grants Laban's servant his freedom if he will join them on their journey to the promised land.

Nephi is righteous and firm and unwavering and inspiring. And as our Sunday School teacher pointed out last Sunday, he is also human, and he grants us a glimpse of that from time to time. The first time the brothers attempted to get the plates from Laban, they cast lots to see which one would go and make the request. The lot fell on Laman, the oldest. He leaves on the errand but returns empty-handed and tells his brothers that he had to flee because Laban threatened to kill him. And then the scriptures say, "...and we began to be exceedingly sorrowful." Reading between the lines, I see a young man trying to do his best. He has just completed a journey of several days through the wilderness back to Jerusalem with a couple of his brothers most likely murmuring most of the way. And when they try to do what they have been sent to do, their lives are threatened. I think for a time Nephi was at a loss for what to do, and I am so thankful he wrote that he was exceedingly sorrowful about it.
Because I want to be like Nephi. And there are times in my life when I am temporarily at a loss for what to do, and during those times I don't feel like I'm being like Nephi... until I saw this side of him. The important thing is to know the end of the story. We know that after his period of sorrow, however long or short it was, he rose to the occasion and with the help of the Lord accomplished with his brothers what they set out to do (read the whole story here).

Every so often I hear debates going on about the "best" way to blog, especially as women. I've read women wishing other women would be more honest and not present their life in such a picture-perfect light on their blog (have you seen this? It's written by a guy in his twenties to poke fun at mommy blogs, and it's stinking hysterical). I've also read the other end of the debate where people have discussed how it's possible to be too honest and share too many complaints regarding how unfairly life is treating you with whoever out there might be listening. I think there's value in both ends of the spectrum. When I see a picture of a beautifully decorated mantel or a spotless kitchen, it inspires me to make my home a more beautiful place. I am guilty of arranging things in a way so that I wouldn't be embarrassed to post a picture of it on the internet. On the other hand, I have been grateful when friends have opened up about a truly horrendous day at their house and how it made them feel, because it makes it easier for me to not take myself too seriously when I am dealing with a similar situation at a later time. What it all comes down to is that if you are blogging regularly, it must be satisfying, and you can blog about whatever you want to, whether you're at either extreme of the spectrum or somewhere in the middle.

I think Nephi (not a blogger, but still a writer) fell somewhere in the middle. He desired to record the events that showed how good the Lord had been to him and his family in the good times and the bad. He is always uplifting and inpsiring and encouraging. But sometimes he opens up and is extremely honest about how certain situations made him feel when appropriate, and that's when you read language like, "O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh...I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me" (2 Nephi 4:17-18).

I'd like to fall somewhere in the middle too. When I post something, I feel like I've made a small contribution to the world, and I want to make sure it's positive... so I try to share the very best of me. Somedays the best of me might include how I am coping with the worst of what is going on.

So I think that's why I want to confess to you that I just emerged from an episode with depression. It was the strongest it has been since this point in my life. I'm not even quite sure what caused it. I think my emotions were very close to the surface after experiencing such a wonderful Christmas that it left me open and vulnerable to an emotional crash.  I hid it well. I even had to confess to Danilo that it had happened tonight before I posted this for anyone else to read. I started to recognize it for what it was one night when I realized how excited I was to go to sleep because it would be a temporary escape from reality. If you have never felt the pangs of depression, I expect a statement like that to sound ludicrous to you. After all, I have a loving husband, and a precious daughter, a warm home and food to eat. I truly hope you never know why. Don't be alarmed though. I am armed with tricks and techniques to combat it that I didn't have the first time depression came knocking at my door. While I'm never excited when it rears its ugly head, I am thankful each time it has happened because I become more familiar with what it is and how to better cope the next time. There is a book called Living With a Black Dog: His Name is Depression that I found a lot of comfort in reading during the last stages of my first bout with depression. Anyway, the last page of the book has a picture of the man embracing the black dog. While it can be fearsome and horrific, I too have learned to love what my black dog has done for me in teaching me humility and compassion and a mountain of other lessons I treasure, as well as strengthening my relationship with God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

As I came out of my first episode with depression, which had lasted nine months, I emerged with a passion to extend hope to anyone who found themselves in that condition. If you are there, I want to tell you that I have been where you are, and there is a way out. Even for you.

She loves spring too.

I know because one of her new favorite words is "ah-sai".

Thank you for your kind responses to my last post. During that bleak time I described, I had no idea this little girl lay in my future. I have been as blissfully happy as my despair was deep.

After reading one more excerpt from my journal that year, you might understand why I felt I needed to post what I did.

I gain a little bit greater insight each day, and each one gives me the strength I need to hang on and keep trying. I have these highs when I know that everything is going to be all right and I almost feel like myself again, only a more refined, polished young woman than I was a year ago. It gives me a great desire to help others, ANYONE who ever finds just the act of living to be painful.
It was one little way I hoped I could. If I can offer you any further encouragement, I would love you to let me know.


Thank you again for your kind words.

I Kept a Daily Journal for Five Days

The other night I tried starting a daily journal writing habit. It was on the computer which was supposed to be appealing because my hand wouldn't get tired. I kept it up for five days. Here's a sample of my first entry... and my last.

March 11, 2011
...I feel like I would like to catch what it feels like to live my life right now every day... in years to come, I want to be able to revisit this period of my life, because Danilo will eventually graduate from school and Grace won't always be a toddler, and I want to remember what it was like.

March 16, 2011
Okay... the honest truth is that so far this journaling isn't doing what I would like it to for me. I love love love to write and get a lot of satisfaction and fulfillment out of it. I pour my heart out a lot on my blog on matters that mean a lot to me... I guess I just feel like over the last four or five days I have stopped in and given a quick account of my day and not gotten much out of it. I will be making some decisions on how to continue....

So, I have a confession, or maybe a clarification, or a change of direction to make regarding this blog. I started a blog with the intention of making it a way to share what's going on with the Collado family. But as time has passed, I've found it really a satisfying way of saying things I feel like I need or want to say before I burst with excitement or love or gratitude or passion for something. So I think my blog is serving an important purpose for me. A good question is why I keep it online where people can look at it. I guess I hope that something I write can be useful or inspiring to someone I know or don't know and give them a little push in the right direction.

So while I'm posting things on the blog titled THE COLLADO FAMILY, I will really be writing things as Brittney sees and feels and experiences them. I guess that's what's been going on the whole time. I just feel better now that that's clarified. OF COURSE Danilo and Grace will be mentioned frequently because they are the stuff of my life. I just won't have to worry about how I'm trying to write about how I felt about the primary election or my love for my grandpa's hometown under the guise of what's happening in the Collado family. I feel better now that that's out. :)

Hello Everyone!

After being inspired by the blogs of various friends, I decided to jump in. I'm excited by the thought of being able to keep out of state family and friends up-to-date and in touch with us. Most of the time it's going to be Brittney posting because Danilo hasn't been totally sold on the blogging idea yet. Hopefully as we get to hear from more of you he will start thinking it's pretty neat, too.