I'm Staying Home

A few weeks ago, my principal visited my room during recess and said, "All right, girl. I've got to know what your plan is for next year." I had been anticipating this moment ever since the day I accepted my first teaching job knowing that when the first baby came along I would be exiting my career. "I'm going to go home and be a mom," I answered, relieved the second I said it that it was out. See, when my principal hired me, she made me feel like she felt lucky to have found me. In her eyes I saw her having visions of the type of asset I would be to our school in five or six years with all the first years of teaching bumps ironed out. That's why I didn't expect the response that came afterwards. "Good for you," she said. "Good for you." She went on to tell me that she didn't envy me for having to make such a tough decision and that the teaching career will still be there in 15 years or in 20 years or whenever I decide to come back. I hugged her as she started to tear up. As the news has gradually made its way through the building, I have been amazed at the support I have received from my fellow teachers. Anyone who has said anything is happy that I have chosen to stay home. I guess I just expected to have to stand my ground a little more. I have enjoyed working with great people. I plan to finish out the year strong and then get Gracie here so we can hug her and love her!

The Tentative Plan

Before we were even married, Danilo talked about having our children grow up speaking both Spanish and English. It sounded great to me at the time. As our family is beginning to materialize before our eyes, I have become ever so less excited about the idea. If you give me a minute to explain, hopefully I will come off not sounding so selfish. Danilo's original proposal was to speak pure Spanish in the home because they would get exposed to English everywhere else they went. I had my reservations about that because though I love the Spanish language, it's not my first language and not the one I fall into speaking naturally. While raising my children, I don't want to have to hope that I'm conveying the right message. When I'm putting my baby to sleep, I want the words I speak to her to be genuinely mine. So we compromised when we found out a baby was on the way to me speaking English when I'm at home with the baby, speaking Spanish as a family when Danilo got home, and Danilo always speaking Spanish. While it was a compromise, I still wasn't embracing the idea. I think when you begin raising a family, at least in my experience, I have craved going back to my roots. I want my children to have similar experiences to what I had growing up, and speaking a different language when we're all together is so foreign from the experience I had as a child. Yet at the same time we will be joining two cultures, and because I love both Danilo and his Chilean background, and because he had a childhood that was different from mine, I realize it's important that we represent both. So the idea occurred to me the other day to balance both by having weeks. We can have a Spanish week where I get good Spanish practice as the whole family speaks Spanish. We talk in Spanish, say our blessing on the food in Spanish, eat dinner in Spanish, say our family prayers in Spanish, have family home evening in Spanish. And when the next Sunday morning comes along, it's English week, and we do it all over again in English. I took the idea up with Danilo, told him why it was important to me, and he was agreeable. The idea might still receive a little tweaking, but it feels pretty good.