My Son is Born!

We were originally given a due date of July 3rd for our baby boy. When I started visiting the doctor's office weekly during the last month, it was pretty clear with each visit that the baby was on his way. He scheduled an induction date for June 27th. I had things planned out nicely for how that day would go. Cynthia and her kids came in to town and I was glad they could help time pass and Grace was thrilled to have her cousins here. Grace had swimming lessons that would wrap up the week before. I would get a couple last things put together for the baby's room and get a pedicure. The Saturday before, Danilo's mom had a baby shower planned for us that she had put all kinds of time and effort into. After that shower, Danilo and I had tickets to an event in Sandy and we were going to make a date night out of it by going to dinner, too. Well, that Friday evening (before the baby shower), I started having fairly strong, fairly consistent contractions. Danilo and I were watching a movie. I didn't really know how to read contractions because my water had broken with Grace. I just didn't know how to know if I should go to the hospital. So Danilo and I prayed together, that we would be alert to know if we needed to get to the hospital. I decided to try to sleep, and if I was able to sleep, we would stay home. I slept really well through the night and the contractions subsided. The next morning I was getting some things done around the house and my contractions kicked up again, strong and consistent. Danilo told me to maybe go lie down. He liked the thought of a planned delivery on the following Thursday and I was really starting to make him nervous. I rested til it was time to go to the baby shower. Danilo and I mapped out a plan for in case I went into labor at the event in Sandy... we could make it to Intermountain Medical Center if I couldn't make it back. Talking like that, I started to think it might be a good idea to call off the date night. I decided to bring my hospital bag to the shower... just in case. As we sat there and guests started to trickle in, I joked with them that I thought I might be going in to labor. Mom sat next to me and we started to time them. They were consistently close together and started to hurt ever so slightly more. I started to wonder what I was waiting for. The shower was LOVELY, and if I had a sore throat or a headache, I would have just suffered through. But this was labor. I called Danilo who was in the house with his mom helping her and told him we needed to go. He rose to the task even though our nice Thursday delivery plan was falling apart.

decorations from the shower brought up to my hospital room; yes that is a baby face carved in cantaloupe! :)

 My mom and Hailey and a couple others snapped some pictures of Danilo and me running off from the shower to the hospital. I hugged and kissed my Gracie girl and told her we were pretty sure Dad and I were going to the hospital so I could have her baby brother and that she would be there after he came. We headed to the Emergency Room just like we had with Grace. We sat at a desk for 10 or 15 minutes to get checked in. They gave me a wristband and everything and then Danilo wheeled me off in a wheelchair. A nurse met me and gave me instructions to change into a gown and get in a bed where I would be hooked up to monitors and all. When you're causing all that fuss, you can't help but think, man, I'm really going to feel ridiculous if I didn't make the right call here.

last picture as a family of three!

But within 15 or 20 minutes, the nurse said they had talked to the doctor and he had told them to keep me. We were having a baby! When the nurse left the room after giving us that information, I asked Danilo to give me a blessing. He did and I don't remember all the words, but I gained calm and strength from it which I was very grateful for. Gracie's deliver was a pretty horrendous experience (she was worth it), and if this delivery registered even close to the pain and fear I felt during Gracie's delivery, our family was going to consist of two children. I was very thankful for the power of the priesthood and that blessing. I think one of the tender mercies that came from it was that the nurse who originally met me went home when her shift ended, and the nurse who saw me through the rest of labor and delivery {Natalie} was so wonderful. So with it. I really feel like when I told her what my worries and fears were, she internalized it all and did everything she could to reduce my anxiety and solve problems. The issue with Gracie's delivery was that my epidural wore off and it was too late by that time to do anything about it. So all the pain of labor and delivery came rushing in and I was not prepared mentally to deal with it. This time, I was given a might dose just as the doctor arrived to make no mistake that the epidural would work through the delivery. It did and giving birth was one of the sweetest experiences of my life as it was with Grace, but minus the trauma. I pushed four or five times and he was here! My initial reaction when I saw him was that he was definitely Grace's brother. There was a very strong resemblance between the two. Because my pain was under control, I was able to enjoy the next several minutes, Danilo cutting the umbilical cord, and the nurses and Danilo estimating his weight. He was 8 lbs. 5 oz. and 22 1/2 inches long. I was much more present with this delivery. I could enjoy the moment and not just cope with the pain. He arrived at 8:15 p.m. Dr. Bitner congratulated me with a hug. They gave him to me once they had cleaned him up and when I got to have him up close, I could see that while he looked like Grace, he was definitely his own person with his own features, his face shape was different, he has dimples. We called our parents to let them know he was here. I was anxious for Grace to meet her little brother. My family said she was getting emotional in the hall waiting to come in and meet him. Not a sad emotional, but an excited emotional. We'd been talking about this moment as a family for months, and it had finally arrived.

I love the pictures that were taken of the four of us in those few minutes after his birth. All our sisters and their husbands came as well as Andrew too. Everyone stayed probably til 10:00. Then they invited me to come to the nursery while Danilo bathed our son. I didn't know moms could do that. My legs didn't work from the epidural so a sweet nurse named Aimee pushed me around in a wheelchair. Grace and Nona watched outside the window. I think Grace didn't get to bed til midnight that night, but I am happy she was there. Danilo stayed that first night in my hospital room on a a hide-a-bed. I'm glad he was there. I had a really wonderful hospital stay. The nurses were so kind and attentive.

We had lots of family in and out the two days we were there including both sets of my grandparents. It was really nice. So... after months and months of debate, what did we name our sweet boy? Danilo Erich Collado. Danilo for obvious reasons. I think we will probably call him Danny most of the time to help with any confusing between father and son. Erich is the middle name of my Grandpa Achter's father.

He is the kind of person who gave most everything he had to be baptized a member of the Church. I have always admired him for his courage and faithfulness and it feels important to honor him this way. So... how do I explain how I feel about this little boy? He has completely won my heart. I have nervously anticipated becoming the mother of a son, feeling like I know quite a bit about raising girls and nothing about boys. But I am entirely smitten. I am so thankful for the powerfully sweet spirit he has brought with him and into our home and feel like Heaven is very near. I know the experience has been similarly meaningful for Danilo as well and Gracie loves and is so proud of her brother. I am so thankful for powerful, sweet, life-changing experiences like this. I pray for the strength and grace each day to be a good mom to my children and raise them in a way that is pleasing to my Heavenly Father.

Five Mini-Posts

Oh blog, it's good to be here again. I have missed you! It's just that I've felt terribly lousy for so long. One day I was trying to remember the last time I felt good, and it had been since Halloween. It's okay, I firmly believe that baby boy is worth it. Thankfully, I have actually started to feel better in the last two or three weeks and enjoy a little of what's left of this pregnancy.

So I thought I would stop in and write some mini-posts about the things I would have blogged about had I been feeling better.

Mini Post #1

Danilo and Brittney Finish the Dr. Quinn Series

It's no secret that I was completely enthralled with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Secretly inside I feared the day that we would finish the last episode because it would be OVER. Fortunately our set of six seasons also included the Dr. Quinn movies. We actually watched the last one last night.

(Michaela sifting through her mother's belongings after her funeral in Boston before they return to Colorado Springs.)

Michaela: Photographs. They're not just things, are they?

Sully: No. I agree. They're pieces of a person's soul. Somethin' to be treasured forever.

Michaela: (tears falling down her face) Sully, there is a forever, isn't there?

Sully: Oh yeah. We're all going to be together again.

Michaela: Promise?

(Kiss.)

Sully: I promise. 

(From The Heart Within, A Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman movie)

I have this dream that somewhere, maybe in Heaven, our favorite characters from books and movies exist just as we envision them. If I ever find it, be sure that Danilo and I will be spending some quality time with Michaela and Sully.

Mini Post #2

I Heart YouTube Prenatal Workouts

I have found some very enjoyable and effective prenatal workouts on YouTube. My favorite thing about them is that the instructors say things like:

"Now don't push yourself too hard."

"Listen carefully to your body. You don't have to take this to the next level."

"You're doing great. I'm so proud of you for getting up and doing this today."

I feel like a million bucks when I'm done. Here are my favorites.

and my absolute favorite,

Prenatal Pilates with the darling Lizbeth Garcia

Mini Post #3

Kitchen Curtains, Check!

I found several pictures on Pinterest of curtains I wanted for my kitchen and with a lot of help from my Mom, we were able to whip them up in two afternoons. We had fun. I sure appreciated it. Here is the finished product:

The side of my fridge looks terribly unflattering.
Oh, well. It's not like this is a catalog. :)

Mini Post #4

Brittney Discovers Dress Barn

I'd driven past Dress Barn before and thought it sounded like a place Old MacDonald's wife would shop. I'd just never been tempted to go in. Until I attended a vintage dress fashion show put on by Sharon Hill from the neighborhood where I grew up. Sharon was modeling a whole collection of her mother's gorgeous dresses from the 1940s and the whole event was being hosted by Dress Barn. Between Sharon's dress changes, other ladies would model dresses from Dress Barn. And they were so flattering and pretty. They were also affordable. I added to my closet some dresses I absolutely LOVE. I would recommend checking out your local Dress Barn if you never have.

Attempt #49 to get a flattering picture while 7 1/2 months pregnant :)

Mini Post #5
Park City

I told Danilo a couple of months ago that before the baby came I dreamed of a getaway for the three of us that would give me just a two day escape from making beds, cooking, or doing dishes. So Danilo booked a Best Western in Park City with a swimming pool and made my dream come true.

Gracie's Announcement

I think I can blog now

I vacuumed the living room right before I took the tree down so I could take a picture... because I did not vacuum once in December... please...let me explain :)

I never checked in here the whole month of December except to quickly announce our baby news. The truth? For some people, pregnancy hormones are not only the perfect storm for morning sickness, but for a bout with depression. I am one of those people.

We found out shortly before the election that we were expecting a new baby (hooray!). When my dreams of having a President Romney were crushed, I expected to feel bad, but I didn’t expect it to drag on for weeks. I felt terribly gloomy. And nauseated. And I finally keyed in to the fact that perhaps my symptoms were not fully related to politics.

During my first pregnancy, I was teaching school, and the world, whether I could keep my breakfast down or not, had to keep turning. I decided to try for the same strategy this go round. I thrive on getting up early and getting things done. I feared morning sickness would keep me in bed all morning, and darned if I would let it. I scheduled all kinds of commitments in the morning that would require me to get out of bed and get moving.

I didn’t feel good for any of it. And the more I did, the worse I felt. Feeling that way day in and day out was wearing on my emotional well-being, which was already thin from the gloomy thoughts and feelings the depression was causing.  I realized one day when my sister was nursing me back to health on her couch with a plateful of chicken nuggets (I am eating like a mother bear at least every two hours) that something had to give. Many things had to give. I decided I could take on one major task each day. Major tasks = one trip to Wal-Mart, one trip to the grocery store, cleaning one bathroom, vacuuming one room, doing the laundry. ONE a day. For years I have exercised at 6 a.m. I bagged any form of exercise completely so I could sleep more (...and continued to eat like a mother bear through the holidays... I hope you get to experience that, guilt-free, at least once in your life!).

The sleep felt good. For the first time, lack of exercise felt good. The little energy I did have wasn’t spent at the gym. And resting throughout the day felt good, though it was hard to see my house kind of crumble in on me. I knew I was refraining from fully taking care of the house for a good reason. Grace and I got to read lots of books and watch lots of movies together.

Little by little as the morning sickness fades away, the depression is too. I saw our baby's face yesterday on ultra-sound, and it brought me so much JOY.

I wanted to include some tricks I use to battle depression when it comes calling. My hope is that some of this information can be helpful to someone else.  

-Knowing what you're dealing with is half the battle. Any battle with depression will never be as bad as the first when it was unfamiliar to you.

-Don't fight it. You will get even more discouraged in the process and it will still settle in anyway. Recognize it for what it is, and know it might stay for awhile. But also know you've beaten it before.

-Understand that the depressed you is not the real you. When you have irrational feelings and thoughts, instead of wondering if you're going insane, blame it on the hormones or lack of serotonin in your brain, and don't give them much more airtime than that. The sane, rational thoughts belong to you and they will dominate more and more as you do your best to just push through each day.

-Don't worry about what you might be losing because of your bout with depression (example: I'm having a baby, this is supposed to be a really happy time and I feel like this???) There is much to be gained from a bout of depression that will make you a better person. The losses will be made up in one way or another.

Each of these tricks represents a light-bulb moment I had in the midst of a bout of depression. Somehow I always think these tricks will be enough, that I won't get down and discouraged but be able to sail on through. While the tricks are essential in getting through, I always find I have another one to learn with each new bout of depression. Here's something I have gained from this time around:

I can choose to be happy in spite of depression (sounds kind of ironic, I know). I was really inspired by this article, and it helped me throughout the Christmas season. Depression kind of colors the way you see everything, but I made a deliberate effort, especially at times and events I was looking forward to, to enjoy them and be happy. I would think to myself, I know the way I'm feeling right now tells me I should feel really lousy tonight, but I've been looking forward to seeing these people, so tonight, I'm going to be happy.

Something I must relearn each time is to trust that whatever adversity I am experiencing is for my good. I sing its praises for all it has taught me, but depression is awful. It is difficult, demeaning, debilitating, causes you to severely doubt yourself and sucks life out of you and the things you enjoy. When you're looking at it in hindsight you think it probably wasn't quite so bad. But when you're in thick of it, you think, "Oh. I remember."

However, I recently read this quote by C.S. Lewis (I love his reasoning on God):

"The tortures occur. If they are unnecessary, then there is no God, or a bad one. If there is a good God, then these tortures are necessary, for no even moderately good Being could possibly inflict or permit them if they weren't."


P.S. These kinds of things run in my family... for a blog detailing my sister's experiences with anxiety, please visit this site.

Have you heard Kate Middleton is having a baby?

 

mod podge

In my recent adult life, I have been in meetings for Young Women or Primary or school or various get-togethers where women are talking about craft ideas and say, "We could mod podge it." And I nod my head and agree while inside I'm thinking, "YOU could mod podge it. I don't have that type of craft experience!" To me it sounded like an advanced skill that I was not qualified to tackle. I didn't even really know what the end result looked like. But my aunt Neyka has been giving me ideas for Gracie's room and suggested that I mod podge some picture frames with scrapbook paper that matched her bedding. Feeling amibitious yesterday, I did a google search to see just what that would entail. After a trip to Michael's and Wal-Mart and a couple of hours with scissors and paper and mod podge, I discovered what mod podge is NOT: scary, hairy, or hard. I also discovered what it is: white, sticky, and inspiring! I had so much fun! I even ventured past picture frames. In fact, as I was in bed not sleeping last night (which is apparently the way things roll in the eighth month of pregnancy), I was imagining all the places I could apply my new skill. I imagined our bedroom door all mod podged in some pretty something that would complement the room. I won't do it, though. I'm thinking I should turn the next post over to Danilo before this becomes a crafty, recipe, housekeeping blog. Please keep coming back, I'll keep trying to keep it interesting.

It'll Be So Cool Babe: Part II

(If you haven't yet, see It'll Be So Cool Babe!)

DANILO: "So how much do you weigh these days?"

BRITTNEY: "I don't know, but you're sure looking fit!"

The Perfect Diet is no longer a joke. It was not merely a passing phase. Danilo dilligently goes to the gym five or six times a week, eats one helping at dinner, and keeps record of exactly how many cookies, bite-sized candy bars, single M&Ms etc. he's consumed each day. He's getting so stinkin' handsome (as if that had been an issue)! In the meantime his wife, whose torso is the current home of their unborn daughter, continues to see numbers on the scale that haven't ever appeared in that order before. Do we weigh the same? I'm not broadcasting that information online. :)

I'm Staying Home

A few weeks ago, my principal visited my room during recess and said, "All right, girl. I've got to know what your plan is for next year." I had been anticipating this moment ever since the day I accepted my first teaching job knowing that when the first baby came along I would be exiting my career. "I'm going to go home and be a mom," I answered, relieved the second I said it that it was out. See, when my principal hired me, she made me feel like she felt lucky to have found me. In her eyes I saw her having visions of the type of asset I would be to our school in five or six years with all the first years of teaching bumps ironed out. That's why I didn't expect the response that came afterwards. "Good for you," she said. "Good for you." She went on to tell me that she didn't envy me for having to make such a tough decision and that the teaching career will still be there in 15 years or in 20 years or whenever I decide to come back. I hugged her as she started to tear up. As the news has gradually made its way through the building, I have been amazed at the support I have received from my fellow teachers. Anyone who has said anything is happy that I have chosen to stay home. I guess I just expected to have to stand my ground a little more. I have enjoyed working with great people. I plan to finish out the year strong and then get Gracie here so we can hug her and love her!

Spring Break is a Sweet Thing!

One week. No school. Beautiful. It's been going since Monday and I've attempted to fill it with out of the ordinary things. Danilo took one day off for us to spend together and we used it to do a session at the Logan Temple. Neither one of us had ever gone there before, it was neat. We had a yummy lunch afterwards.

Tuesday afternoon we got a treat. One of Danilo's radiology instructors had offered to sometime do an ultrasound for us as a sort of demo for some of her students. We jumped at the chance and got to see how much our baby girl had grown (quite a bit!) in the month since we'd last looked. We got some close-up images of her face. I don't think I'll get used to having ultrasounds. I think you can plan on continuing to see posts on how exciting it was after each one.

Spring break offers a wonderful change of pace and scenery, and what I tend to enjoy most during times like these is the extra time I get to spend with people that I love and love to be with. My mom and sisters and I especially have visited all of our favorite stores and then some.

Making Her Presence Known

The expectant mom was expecting to be bigger by this point (exactly five months along), but at least I know she's in there. Today the junior high band came and put on a mini-concert to hopefully recruit some of our students in the near future. Little Gracie (the name is actually growing on her dad) was clearly very aware of her surroundings. When the percussion started thumping and the horns started blaring and the rest of the band started doing their thing, I got a kick out of feeling my little girl rock and reel inside. I was disappointed when it was over!

The Tentative Plan

Before we were even married, Danilo talked about having our children grow up speaking both Spanish and English. It sounded great to me at the time. As our family is beginning to materialize before our eyes, I have become ever so less excited about the idea. If you give me a minute to explain, hopefully I will come off not sounding so selfish. Danilo's original proposal was to speak pure Spanish in the home because they would get exposed to English everywhere else they went. I had my reservations about that because though I love the Spanish language, it's not my first language and not the one I fall into speaking naturally. While raising my children, I don't want to have to hope that I'm conveying the right message. When I'm putting my baby to sleep, I want the words I speak to her to be genuinely mine. So we compromised when we found out a baby was on the way to me speaking English when I'm at home with the baby, speaking Spanish as a family when Danilo got home, and Danilo always speaking Spanish. While it was a compromise, I still wasn't embracing the idea. I think when you begin raising a family, at least in my experience, I have craved going back to my roots. I want my children to have similar experiences to what I had growing up, and speaking a different language when we're all together is so foreign from the experience I had as a child. Yet at the same time we will be joining two cultures, and because I love both Danilo and his Chilean background, and because he had a childhood that was different from mine, I realize it's important that we represent both. So the idea occurred to me the other day to balance both by having weeks. We can have a Spanish week where I get good Spanish practice as the whole family speaks Spanish. We talk in Spanish, say our blessing on the food in Spanish, eat dinner in Spanish, say our family prayers in Spanish, have family home evening in Spanish. And when the next Sunday morning comes along, it's English week, and we do it all over again in English. I took the idea up with Danilo, told him why it was important to me, and he was agreeable. The idea might still receive a little tweaking, but it feels pretty good.

The Ever Important 20 Weeks!

Last Thursday Danilo and I had an appointment with an ultra sound tech to see our baby again at the 20 week mark. I hadn't felt a lot of movement inside and so was very excited to see we have a very active baby!! The tech flattered us by telling us how DARLING our baby was and by the end of the appointment was almost absolutely certain that we've got a little girl on the way.

Sweet baby foot!

So what does this mean for the name debate? I love the name Grace. To me it's timeless and classic. It won't be too big for her when she's born and it will grow up with her. I love the thought of calling her Gracie, and she can decide which she'd rather go by. When I think of Grace, I think of, well, grace, and poise and beautiful things, as well as the grace of God. Danilo likes it somedays, and not so much on others. His main argument is that people will call her "Crazy Gracie," since almost anyone who speaks Spanish knows the word "crazy" in English and a Spanish "z" sounds more like an s. Then it sounds more like "Crasy Gracie." Yeah, it rhymes. At this point in the conversation (we've had it many times) I tell him you can do that with any name, and tell him about my mom's cousin Danny who would lovingly refer to me as Brat-ney. We'll keep you posted on this one, too!

It'll Be So Cool Babe!

I don't know to what I should attribute my silly face in this picture. But I do want you to take a good look at Danilo's plate. This was a night out at Chuck-A-Rama where Danilo feels a solemn obligation to eat his money's worth. He's reaching the end of his meal here with a smathering of everything at the dessert bar. Inevitably after an evening at such a buffet I will hear, "I ATE SO MUCH! That's it babe, that's it. From now on, Perfect Diet." And the next morning as he gets ready in the bathroom I answer questions like, "Do you think I'm still in as good of shape as when you married me?" Danilo has begun the Perfect Diet approximately 124 times since we were married (that's an average of once a week). However, it's taken on a new twist. Danilo had this great idea when he found out he was going to be a dad that HE AND I COULD WEIGH THE SAME when I reach my heaviest point of pregnancy. For some reason, that's been the motivation he's needed to only have one helping at dinner, get up the first time the alarm rings to go to the gym, and thank me for keeping the treats in the pantry limited. He's averaged losing a pound a week. I'm planning on gaining quite a few once the baby starts to weigh pounds and not ounces in the next few months. He told me, "It'll be so cool, babe! We'll weigh the same!" Hmph. We'll see. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, Happy Perfect Diet Sweetheart!!"

Good Thing I'm Not an Astronaut

Last weekend before real life started back up again, our friends James and Amy invited us to the Woody family's cabin in the Uintahs. I learned to more fully appreciate husbands as the girls put dinner together while the men hauled all the stuff from the car up to the cabin on snowmobile. The next morning we went snowmobiling. We layered up since it was somewhere between 10 and 20 degrees outside. I didn't expect to have a minor anxiety attack when I put my helmet on. Apparently I am slightly claustrophobic. I was okay as I sat, made sure I was breathing and told myself helmets are to protect you, not to suffocate you. I told my mom about the experience and she said it's probably a good thing I'm not an astronaut. Once the wind and snow started flying by, I was glad we had them on. Good grief, we had a good time.













If you were looking at the ultra sound picture from the last post and now are looking at the snowmobile pictures and feeling a little concerned, know that when the expectant mom was on the snowmobile, just as jumps were approaching we slowed WAY down. Unlike everyone else, I never caught any air.

Our Beautiful Baby!

Friday afternoon we had our first ultra sound appointment. There truly is a baby inside me! Morning sickness had been a powerful indicator, but seeing our little person moving around on the screen was a sweet experience like nothing I'd ever felt before! We were grateful to find out that our baby is good sized and has a healthy heart beat.

A Short Story

I began a writing lesson last week by reading this short story I had written to my class.

Mrs. Collado began. “Class, I’m wondering if you have noticed some of my unusual behavior lately.”

Mackenzy raised his hand with the grace of a gentleman. “Yes Mackenzy?” Mrs. Collado motioned for him to speak.

“Yes, kind teacher. But first, thank you for allowing me the opportunity to speak. Mrs. Collado, we have noticed that you always seem to be eating lately. We are worried. Do you have enough food at your house? Can we do anything to help you?”

Mrs. Collado smiled. “What a thoughtful class I have.” She continued. “And, thank you. Mr. Collado and I do have enough to eat at home. But Mackenzy, you hit the nail right on the head. I have been eating more than usual lately. In fact, I can’t seem to make it through math or reading or even break without munching on something. The truth is, I haven’t felt like myself lately, and the whole truth is, I’m going to be having a baby.”

Needless to say, writing time was not so productive that day. My cute class was so excited. AND SO ARE WE!